#078. The Vortex of Desire (4)
—
A stray bullet cutting across the battlefield pierced the old man’s chest and vanished into the distance.
Thud.
John’s body collapsed.
His form, sprawled on the ground, convulsed and trembled.
It was not instant death.
But the injuries were undeniably fatal.
Gurgle—!
Gurgle—!
Fran had disappeared somewhere, no longer in sight. Instead, the creatures discovered John, their eyes bloodshot with frenzy, and charged toward him.
Michael dashed forward.
He barely managed to reach John before the Rockdeers and shielded him with his body.
Boom—!
“Khgh!”
A tremendous pain surged through his side.
One of the Rockdeers had rammed into him, and the impact was so intense that it left him struggling to breathe.
The force sent both him and the unconscious John skidding across the ground.
‘I need to deploy a barrier quickly….’
He thought amidst the chaos.
But it was only a thought.
There weren’t enough elemental resources left in his circle to materialize a barrier.
Rumble—!
The sound of the charging Rockdeers echoed through the ground’s vibrations.
Instinctively, Michael clung to John even tighter.
It didn’t matter what happened to him.
As long as the chairman survived.
Just as he braced himself for the inevitable—
Boom—!
The sound of impact rang out, but there was no pain.
“I don’t understand. No matter how much I think about it.”
A voice spoke.
Lifting his head, Michael saw a transparent, white light barrier surrounding them.
“This should be impossible.”
“…Ray?”
Right beside him stood Ray, staring intently at his chest with an expression of utter confusion.
“Did you rush in to save John because you respect him? Without any regard for your own life?”
Boom—! Bang—!
The Rockdeers were relentlessly crashing into the barrier from all sides.
It was a chaotic, overwhelming situation.
Michael answered nonetheless.
“Yes. That’s right. The chairman is the only person I respect.”
Almost simultaneously, something caught his eye in the distance.
Multiple vehicles were entering the open ground.
They all belonged to a mercenary group.
‘No way… Were there more reinforcements left?’
His suspicion was correct.
It was the remaining force of the Skyle Mercenary Corps, who had been stationed outside the battlefield to block any escapees.
The mercenary vehicles came to a halt at a strategic distance.
Then, mercenaries disembarked and began preparing the heavy artillery mounted on their roofs.
Their goal was clear—to suppress the Rockdeers and bodyguards and rescue their allies.
‘If it comes to this….’
The final victor was already decided.
The battlefield was in complete disarray due to the rampaging Rockdeers, rendering both sides incapable of organized combat.
If enemy forces from outside the battlefield initiated bombardment, there was no way to withstand it.
‘No matter how powerful Ray is….’
Based on previous battles, Ray’s primary magic appeared to be reinforcement and electricity-based spells.
Reinforcement magic was specialized for close combat.
Electricity magic had a fast casting speed but a short effective range.
‘…And they’re at least dozens of meters away.’
It was impossible.
No matter how skilled Ray was, he couldn’t attack an enemy so far away from his current position.
“I understand why you respect John. Because he saved you from the slums.”
Ray didn’t seem to acknowledge the presence of the new threat at all.
“But what I don’t understand is this—you should have had moments where that respect should have crumbled. At least, by my standards.”
As Michael focused on Ray’s words, he simultaneously drew upon the remaining elements of control and manipulation within his circle.
Screech—!
Screech—!
The hawks circling the sky shifted their flight path toward the distant mercenaries.
──!
────!
The mercenaries, who had been operating their artillery, flinched upon noticing the incoming hawks.
In an instant, the distance closed, and sharp beaks and talons lunged toward their faces—
Screeeech—!
Screeeech—!
But suddenly, the hawks veered off and soared back into the sky, disappearing from view.
The bond had been severed.
In the dire urgency of the moment, he had failed to calculate the maximum operational range of his familiars.
“…….”
Michael felt an overwhelming sense of futility.
It was over.
For himself.
For the one he had sworn to protect.
Yet, Ray’s voice continued.
“John was planning to rob a mercenary group. You were visibly shaken when you heard that. Yet, your respect for him never wavered. Why?”
Michael wasn’t sure what Ray was trying to say.
But if he had to interpret it, it seemed like Ray was asking why he continued to help John.
Was that such an important question?
Did he even realize that new enemies had appeared?
A single shot from all those cannons would shatter any barrier, no matter how strong.
“And John insulted you. He belittled and humiliated you.”
“…You’re a peculiar person, Ray.”
“You also sensed something off about the corruption he was involved in, didn’t you?”
“Yes. That’s true.”
“John even tried to abandon you.”
“…Did he?”
“And from what John just said earlier, it seems like he wasn’t looking for the Rockdeer to thank it.”
“…I know.”
Ray’s voice remained as calm and emotionless as ever, yet a thick layer of frustration could be felt beneath it.
It was likely because of Michael’s unwavering attitude.
“Tell me. How is it possible for you to maintain your respect for him?”
“…….”
Michael fell silent for a moment.
For some reason, Ray reminded him of a certain type of student from the Mage Tower—those who endlessly pursued knowledge, not for any practical purpose, but simply for the sake of understanding.
There weren’t many like that.
Most people studied magic to elevate their status in society, not out of pure curiosity.
Michael finally opened his mouth.
“Yesterday, you asked me to define respect.”
“Yes, I did. Have you found an answer?”
“I am not a philosopher, so I can’t claim to have a definitive answer. But I do have a personal opinion.”
“What is it?”
Michael lowered his gaze to the dying John in his arms.
Silence stretched.
Ray was about to prompt him again when—
“A person who makes you want to be like them.”
Michael spoke.
The battlefield was filled with gunfire, but his voice rang clear.
“A person who shines so brightly that you don’t even dare to dream of reaching them.”
A lone star in the dark night sky.
Michael had run and run, hoping to reach that star.
To possess its light.
To stand in its place.
But no matter how hard he ran, the distance remained unchanged.
“The chairman was a truly extraordinary man. No matter how much effort I put in, I realized I could never shine like him.”
And so, he had made a decision.
If he couldn’t shine, he would help those who could spread their light further.
If he stayed by the side of someone who shined, perhaps he could bask in their light as well.
Michael’s voice grew intense.
“Yes, I suspected his corruption. It was impossible not to, after spending so much time with him.”
“But so what? Chasing that starlight gave my life direction.”
Ray remained silent.
“No matter how much that light has faded, the path I walked was real.”
Michael’s voice trembled.
“I swore loyalty to the Representative. After all, he is someone who has achieved accomplishments I could never even dream of. The Representative was the person I respected the most, the person I respect now, and—”
He swallowed hard.
The sentence barely managed to continue.
“—the person I will continue to respect in the future. That is my answer to your question, Ray.”
“…….”
Why?
Ray felt a strange tingling and a flush creeping up inside him.
It was odd.
He hadn’t even fully understood all of Michael’s words.
Yet one sentence lingered in his mind, branded there like a mark seared by fire.
—A person you want to resemble.
—But a person you can never imagine becoming.
A face surfaced in his mind.
And in that instant, countless traces of emotions engraved in his heart began to shine all at once.
All of them were emotions connected to that person from Sector 50.
……
The boy’s consciousness sank deep into the depths of past memories.
**”You should always leave your opponent a way out. If you don’t, they might come at you with everything they’ve got.”**
**”Will you even be able to make a living like this? But it’s best not to expand your business toward 4th Street. Hector has had his eyes on that area for a while now.”**
**”Take it. This is the reward for all the sweat you poured into running around for a month. In the end, we’re all just trying to survive.”**
A ripple.
A deep, ocean-like unconsciousness.
A boy slowly sinking beneath it.
Fragments of memories replaying on either side.
The emotions radiating from each memory were so vivid that they were almost blinding.
Yet, none of them belonged to the boy.
‘Niles.’
He was someone who carried a multitude of emotions.
His words and actions on the surface were always dry and brusque.
But the hazy, multicolored mana reflected in his aura made it clear—his emotional spectrum was vast.
Yes.
The intensity of each emotion wasn’t necessarily strong.
But the range of emotions he exhibited was undeniably diverse.
When the boy of the past realized this, he clung to a fragile hope.
**”The words I speak and the way I act aren’t all that different from his.”**
If he and that man were the same kind of person…
Then maybe he, too, could possess such a colorful spectrum of emotions.
He wanted to resemble him.
He wanted to have emotions.
With that thought, he spent weeks observing Niles’ every move, analyzing his traits, and trying to imitate him.
But there was no progress.
Because from the very beginning, Niles was a fundamentally different kind of person.
And there was another reason for his broad emotional depth.
**”Niles! Why don’t you stop by for a drink?”**
**”Boss, I wanted to discuss that issue with you briefly.”**
**”Niles…”**
Niles was someone who constantly paid attention to everything around him.
It was as if he took responsibility for everything within his domain.
‘The people in the sector all liked Niles.’
Perhaps it was because his broad emotional spectrum allowed him to understand and empathize with others.
Though the exact reason remained unclear.
Was it that his emotional depth enabled him to connect with many people?
Or had he gained such emotional depth because he interacted with so many?
…Ultimately, it didn’t matter.
To the boy, that way of life was terribly inefficient and incomprehensible.
In other words, it was something he could never imitate.
‘…….’
A person he wanted to resemble but couldn’t even fathom becoming.
That person was Niles.
And as soon as he realized this, a question arose.
Was what he had felt back then an emotion called respect?
Had he… respected Niles?
At the bottom of his memories, long-dormant emotions began to stir.
A single emotion, once faded to black and white, started rising toward the surface of his consciousness, gradually regaining its original color.
From black and white to pale pink.
From pale pink to pink.
From pink to—
And finally, when the emotion surged to the surface of his consciousness—
**Wuuuuung───!**
The color of that emotion was a vivid, unmistakable violet.
As the restored emotion illuminated every corner of the boy’s heart,
It became clear.
Strictly speaking, it was merely one facet of respect.
But that was enough.
**Wuuuuung───!**
Around his heart.
Above the first ring.
A red mana strand that had been orbiting in preparation for forming a new ring—
Began to spin violently.
A searing pain flared in his chest.
Beneath the surface of his consciousness,
All the memories that had played back began rewinding at once.
“……!”
And the boy’s sunken awareness surged upward, back toward reality.
